Taking the road less traveled

Home » Uncategorized » Guest Blog by the Amazing Hayley Coates.

Guest Blog by the Amazing Hayley Coates.

Contact me

Hayley Coates, writer, blogger, teacher,activist, freedom fighter, tea drinker with Thich Nat Hanh… is there anything this wonder woman can’t do? I had to do some serious A-grade grovelling to get her to write on my blog. Enjoy.
Every job has its perks, though some days I can’t recall a bloody one. Every job has its pitfalls too; tripe coming from people’s mouths, criticism, or dealing with incompetence gets us worked up. But not me!  I’m supposed to be a peaceful, Zen-like warrior. So why was I getting emotional at work? How does one honour their feelings as well as grow a thick skin?

freeimage-5207053-212x300I was recently schooled by an eighty-two year old man. Not a random codger on the street, but peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh. He did not come to my house for tea, though, that would have been lovely, I learnt about a famous analogy from one of his twenty – or – something books.</p>

It was ME all over.
Thich Nhat Hanh talks about anger, a lot. He describes anger as being ‘like a house on fire.’ What do we do when our house is on fire?
We chase the bastard who started it, of course!
We stay, and we put out the flames.
freeimage-6266194-300x200This very simple analogy is indicative of what many humans do. When we are upset, we focus on the person who upset us and ignore ourselves, our feelings and our bodies.
So I tried it. I waited until I got angry and instead of throwing things at the person who hurt me, I focussed inward and WHY I was actually hurting, came to the forefront.
Much of the time, I found that the anger had to do with stuff that I was carrying; a desire to be right, a desire to be thought of as perfect, a desire to look good and sometimes the antagonist was just upset about something that I had no control over.
So, I started to wonder; is developing a thick skin all about taking the focus off external factors? It would seem so. Looking internally is often the answer to a great many questions.
Secondly, I realised that people that don’t care what you think, are unattached to what you say. And that’s a good thing, if they can still take the criticism and implement it. Once again, Buddha was right; it’s all about finding the middle way.
Next time someone sets your house on fire, stay, put out the flames and see what comes up for you. You can always go after the arsonist later…but remember, when you do that, you leave your house unprotected.

1 Comment

  1. HMCWriter says:

    Thank you for being such a gracious host, Sir.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Past Musings

Twitter Updates

Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.

The Warrior by Ty Patterson – Indiebook of the Day, 13th April 2013

Word Wenches Guilty Pleasure

Five wenches who spout honest reviews, pimp the hell out of authors, create custom swag, offer editing services, and all that jazz.

Vampires, Crime and Angels...Eclectic Me

Random thoughts, posts and pictures that inspire my writing.

All That's Written ...

Lucy Pireel - Author, reader, and blogger

Jenny in Neverland

"If you don't imagine, nothing ever happens at all".

Mobile Home-Portable home - Interior container - Structure container - Container home for rent

mobile home,prefabricated home,,portable home,home container,container house,interior container,structure container,nhà container,cau truc container,container

Tagh's Books

Smile! You’re at the best WordPress.com site ever

It's not my fault.

© Wendi Bear 2017

M.E. Kinkade

Science fiction author | Destroyer of Worlds

man of yesterday



Books, Reviews & Interviews covering Political and Historical books & more

jennie orbell

Blogger of Everyday Stuff and Nonsense. Author.

Russel Ray Photos

Life from Southern California, mostly San Diego County


A blog in which tales are told, authors are interviewed, and books are reviewed.

The Eccentric Writer

This WordPress.com site is Independent book reviews, writing, publishing and marketing tips

Books Direct

Books for the Whole Family

Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog


Written by Deb

A new writer's journey

%d bloggers like this: